don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
