I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Mom said you looked used
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
