you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
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All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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