I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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