Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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