Can i not drive my cunt home
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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