I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i would one night stand the shit outta him
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
