Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize