I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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