New invention idea: vibrating tampons
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
