you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
