I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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