What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
