My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize