at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
