Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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