you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ugly people sure do ruin things
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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