I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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