believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
