the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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