He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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