He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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