and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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