How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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