.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
