So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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