Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
