last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize