Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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