You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
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Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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