Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
