so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
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I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!