You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
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Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
It's not a walk of shame if you run