I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.