She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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