Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
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New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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It's no shave November. This is our time.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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