if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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