And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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