Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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