Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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