You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
