My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize