just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
