so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
