i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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