Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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