Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
