How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Vodka?
Forever.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
