like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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