Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
