haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
