Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
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Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
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