I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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